Typically when I think of chivalry, I think of the knights of old. Mounted men dressed in polished steel protecting the weak and innocent from tyranny.
A Knight is sworn to Valor
His Heart knows only Virtue
His Blade defends the Helpless
His Might upholds the Weak
His Words speaks only Truth
His Wrath undoes the Wicked
Call when you need of me
Ask what you will of me
My Sword, My Service are yours
Women were frail, unintelligent and therefoer should be looked after and protected. When we look at chivalry in this form then the answer is no, there is no place for chivalry in today's cynical world. Thankfully times have moved on and women are no longer seen as the weaker sex, they have equal rights and in most cases equal pay. In today's world holding a door open for a woman can be seen as condescending or even dare I say offensive rather than chivalrous.
So...What is chivalry? Well the dictionary definition of the word is probably surprising to most:
The medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
A system of religious, moral and social code. Well we can discount the religion part, no longer do we purely measure right and wrong by what the bible tells us. Moral and social code?? Well, if I had a £ for every time I had heard a man say "I just don't know how I am supposed to be on a date. If only there was a list of do's and don'ts to help us along." then I would be a very rich man.
The list is already written! it has just stopped being communicated. In the days of old, this code of conduct was taught to us from birth. Clear rules for courtship and finding the right partner were passed down through generations. Men knew their role in a relationship and so did women, this made things very simple and straight forward. However, the world has changed (thankfully!) and roles are not as clear cut as they were in yester year. Women have rightly been accepted as equals and as a result relationships between men and women have become confusing to say the least.
Most of us who have sons teach them to respect women and about what it means to be a gentleman. However, when your 18yr old son goes on a date and get's dumped and accused of being sexist because he is a gentleman. You start to ask questions.
The true facts, whether we like them or not are these:
Women were made to be mothers, to bear children and to nurture.
Men were made to be warriors and protectors.
Nobody questions a woman's right to bear children, it is there god given right and in their DNA. If this is true, then how can we punish a man for wanting to protect and provide when it is also a part of there DNA. Until we evolve into a race that can self impregnate and we are all mixed gender, roles need to be taken and accepted.
Chivalry was invented to ensure the fair treatment for all. Previously men could do as they wished, rape, pillage and abuse whoever and wherever the saw fit. Chivalry gave men a moral and social code to live by that previously did not exist, without it were would we be?
Is chivalry a thing of the past?? The answer is no, but it is no longer the sole responsibility of men. When a woman opens a door for a man, he should not feel awkward. Instead he should just accept that the woman is just being polite and kind. Alternatively, when a man opens a door for a woman. She should realise that he is acting on lessons that he has been taught his whole life, that he should respect women and be a gentleman. Not that he is trying to undermine her independence or her right to be equal.
I have a few friends who are single women, all have their own way of judging if a man is right for them. Most of them are strong independent women with successful careers who believe in equality and have an intense dislike for chauvinism. However, when asked what they look for on a first date. Their answers mainly involved the man being chivalrous, opening doors, offering to pay or even coming to their defence should they be abused or insulted.
I think that the question is not "is chivalry a thing of the past?" but "how can we help people understand that chivalry is not connected to equality"
So...What is chivalry? Well the dictionary definition of the word is probably surprising to most:
The medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code.
A system of religious, moral and social code. Well we can discount the religion part, no longer do we purely measure right and wrong by what the bible tells us. Moral and social code?? Well, if I had a £ for every time I had heard a man say "I just don't know how I am supposed to be on a date. If only there was a list of do's and don'ts to help us along." then I would be a very rich man.
The list is already written! it has just stopped being communicated. In the days of old, this code of conduct was taught to us from birth. Clear rules for courtship and finding the right partner were passed down through generations. Men knew their role in a relationship and so did women, this made things very simple and straight forward. However, the world has changed (thankfully!) and roles are not as clear cut as they were in yester year. Women have rightly been accepted as equals and as a result relationships between men and women have become confusing to say the least.
Most of us who have sons teach them to respect women and about what it means to be a gentleman. However, when your 18yr old son goes on a date and get's dumped and accused of being sexist because he is a gentleman. You start to ask questions.
The true facts, whether we like them or not are these:
Women were made to be mothers, to bear children and to nurture.
Men were made to be warriors and protectors.
Nobody questions a woman's right to bear children, it is there god given right and in their DNA. If this is true, then how can we punish a man for wanting to protect and provide when it is also a part of there DNA. Until we evolve into a race that can self impregnate and we are all mixed gender, roles need to be taken and accepted.
Chivalry was invented to ensure the fair treatment for all. Previously men could do as they wished, rape, pillage and abuse whoever and wherever the saw fit. Chivalry gave men a moral and social code to live by that previously did not exist, without it were would we be?
Is chivalry a thing of the past?? The answer is no, but it is no longer the sole responsibility of men. When a woman opens a door for a man, he should not feel awkward. Instead he should just accept that the woman is just being polite and kind. Alternatively, when a man opens a door for a woman. She should realise that he is acting on lessons that he has been taught his whole life, that he should respect women and be a gentleman. Not that he is trying to undermine her independence or her right to be equal.
I have a few friends who are single women, all have their own way of judging if a man is right for them. Most of them are strong independent women with successful careers who believe in equality and have an intense dislike for chauvinism. However, when asked what they look for on a first date. Their answers mainly involved the man being chivalrous, opening doors, offering to pay or even coming to their defence should they be abused or insulted.
I think that the question is not "is chivalry a thing of the past?" but "how can we help people understand that chivalry is not connected to equality"
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